Living Happiness

Today is the 4-week mark for my blog. And since tomorrow is the start of a new month, I thought it timely to step back for a moment and reflect on what I have learned in this, my first month of blogging. Here is what I’ve learned so far … .

• I’m Not the Only Genius. Of course I like to think that I am the only one who thinks my grand ideas. Surely what I have to say is brand new, unique, no one’s ever thought of it before. Right?! Wrong. I entered the blogosphere only slightly less self-assured than this and quickly discovered that, “Hey, Genius. There are quite a few of you at this party.” Now, I guess this could bring someone down, especially if she was really hoping to be the brightest bulb in the bunch. But for me, it’s been like walking into a really great cocktail party, the kind which you always hope for but which usually ends up just letting you down with soggy hors d’oeuvres, boxed champagne, and that guy named Bob who has permanent halitosis, a comb-over, and thinks you’re his new best friend because you said more than “Hi” to him. No, this party’s been the kind where you walk in and everyone’s someone interesting. You don’t know which conversation you want to join because all of them are good, and you spend the night chatting away with people whom you can’t believe you haven’t known your whole life. Yep. That’s what this feels like. This is one party I don’t have to beg off of in favor of reading a book. Which leads to my next observation.

• People Are Nice. I have to admit, I hadn’t seen very many blogs before I’d decided to start my own. (*Shocker*) But the ones I’d seen had seemed very “me”-centered, unoriginal, arrogant, and negative. Imagine what a surprise it was for me to discover that there are quite a few bloggers out there who are just the opposite. And at least for those of us writing on the topic of happiness (yes, I know, fairly obvious) there seems to be a real community of support. Almost every post I have commented on has been met with a response of welcome and a continuation of the dialogue. These comments of mine have also frequently led to the poster heading over to my blog for a gander and leaving similar thoughtful remarks. I’ve even been interviewed (by Graceful Creative – check her out!) and have now been given the chance to Blog It Forward, too, by extending the same courtesy to a new fellow blogger, Janice @ Sharing the Journey. (Look for it very soon.) This warm response has been the most encouraging thing to me about blogging and is one of my biggest incentives to continue.
• I’d like to take this moment to give a few personal shout-outs to the following:
• Graceful Creative
• Nadia from HappyLotus
• Positively Present

• Thank you for the encouragement and support you’ve given me this first month. You’ve helped me feel very welcome.

• Repeatedly Clicking On Your Stats Counter Does Not Make People Visit Your Page Any Faster. Whether you would like to admit this to yourself or not, it’s true. I have tried it. I have been known to check a gazillion times an hour. If this theorem were true (Number of Times Clicked = Number of Visitors to Blog), I would have ratcheted up a gazillion hits by now. Sadly, I think there was only one time where a click seemed to make a hit magically appear. Fortunately, I have realized the faultiness of this theorem and am learning to just be patient. Starting a blog takes time. Building up a loyal following takes even longer. One month is but a wee bit of time in the larger realm of the blogosphere.

• Eating is Necessary to Survival. Blogging Isn’t. There comes a point when, after you’ve spent 6 hours studying the HTML code for one new gadget you want to add to your sidebar, your stomach screams at you and demands attention: “We have not eaten since 8:00 this morning. Can you please get off your duff for just a sec and fix us dinner?” I have tried a few times to placate Tummy with toasted sandwiches and/or handfuls of nuts. But after the first couple of times, Tummy doesn’t fall for this trick anymore. It demands food. The real stuff. Not just this “fake food.” Dear god, but how much time it has taken me to get my blog up and running! I spent my first two weeks knee-deep in code from here, there and everywhere. I spent the week after that playing the “Should I Share This/Not Share This” game with my posts. And sometimes now I feel that I just need to go find a B.A. (Bloggers Anonymous) and confess the early beginnings of my addiction. Now. Before it’s too late. Fortunately for me though, just like my tummy, my inner spirit also reaches a saturation point where enough is enough and it says, “Hey, wait a minute! Get your priorities straight. Your life is all about balance, so let’s get some balance in here.” I recognized this a couple of weeks ago and took a few days away. It did me a world of good and brought me back refreshed.

• It’s Better Than a Kick In The Pants. Despite the fact that I have a long way to go before I achieve my blogging goals, I have enjoyed almost every minute of the past month. I began blogging because I wanted an outlet for my creativity. I’ve been creative. I began blogging because I wanted a potential space for my writing. I’ve found it. I began blogging because I wanted to engage in a new community. I am slowly but surely engaging. These are good things. I am enjoying this. And I think I’ll be sticking around for a while.

Looking forward to hearing from you.
See you soon.

I read a blog the other day that asked the question: who is your reader? It went on to narrow that question down: whom do you write for or, better yet, whom do you live for? I feel like I can truthfully say that I live for myself. But whom do I write for? Ah! The answer to that question is easy: my fiancé.

I don’t sit down to write with G in mind. But most posts have to pass the ‘G Test’ before they go up. I can tell when something resonates with him or when it doesn’t. And since G is just your typical person, and most assuredly your typical male, I figure he’s a good measure to go by … most of the time, anyway.

G often discriminates between my posts as (and these are official terms) ‘Preachy Ones’ and ‘Stories About You.’ He is a big fan of the Stories About You and starts squirming on the Preachy Ones. (In fact, this is how I can usually tell I’ve been too preachy).

So, today I am just going to tell you that I am having a rough time of it, and trying quite hard to keep my optimism. You see, I am returning to the States in three weeks for the first time in three years. To say that I am nervous is an understatement. I experienced reverse culture shock when I was a 20-year-old college student returning from a semester abroad, and it was enough to have me depressed for about three months. What in the world is it going to be like for me to return after three years!

But I’m sure I’ll float with that just fine, really. Three months in the States will fly by, and those 12 weekends will all pass very quickly when I am trying desperately to see so many people I haven’t hugged and laughed with in so long. In this regard, I’ll be okay.

It’s the accommodation during my stay that has upset me. I had made arrangements in December to stay with a friend. But, alas, that has fallen through and, with it, my home for the summer. Now, in the eleventh hour I am hitting up everyone I know about cheap accommodation during my 3-month sojourn. Unfortunately, my parents’ home is not an option. Like the person who keeps walking into the same open manhole, I fell again into the trap of thinking my parents might be willing and able to help. I was sorely (yes, it hurt!) mistaken.

I do believe that all things happen for a reason, though. There’s a part of me that keeps saying, “Even when a door closes, it’s probably because that door leads into a room it would be better not to enter.” My head knows this. But my heart hurts and my spirit is anxious.

I am believing one of these doors will open soon … I’ll even “settle” for a window.

Looking forward to hearing from you,