Living Happiness

When I was a little girl, my mother used to say to me, “Remember who you are.” Usually this advice was given when I was doing something new for the first time or stepping out with friends she didn’t really know. It became very frequent advice when I became a teenager, and it was my mom’s way of saying, “Don’t forget your values. Don’t forget the things we’ve taught you.” It was a gentle reminder to a be good girl.

It also became something of a family joke. I heard it so often that I couldn’t help but laugh and tease, “Oh, no! Mom, who am I?” Hahaha. But I think this is the best piece of advice I’ve ever received.

I was reminded last night that, for a few days anyway, I have done some forgetting of who I am. A still, small voice that I know to be my heart said, “Why are you writing from your head? Why aren’t you writing from me?” And that was all it took to sadden me and humble me because, when I write from my heart, the magic flows through … without effort, without my help, with only her words.

Positively Present wrote a lovely post a few days ago which encouraged readers to go back and look at their first post. What did it say? How did we feel about it? Was what we said still true? I balked at doing this because my blog is so new. But last night, after hearing Voice, I did what was asked and read my first post, Harmony, and then a few more. I loved them.

When I began writing just a month ago, I was writing more consciously for myself than I was for an audience, and the voice that is in those posts rings far truer to me than some of my more recent posts. Not to belittle these recent lovelies but while they begin with an idea in my heart, my head quickly steps in and takes over–a bit like the know-it-all who interrupts someone to wax eloquent on all he knows, drowning out the voice of the other speaker. I do not want this to be me.

So today I am asking my Voice an apology and going back to my roots (thank you, Caroline). I am remembering who I am. I am writing for me.

Peace be with you today,

When I was in graduate school I wrote a ‘brilliant’ master’s thesis on the knights of the Round Table. My premise was masking and unmasking in the world of Camelot and all of the confusions of identity that ensued and contributed to the fall of the fellowship. It was smart, it was insightful, and it also glaringly overlooked one very obvious problem: the knights wore armor!

Actually, my thesis didn’t overlook this fact as much as it overlooked one very clear drawback of the armor: the knights had no way to know whom the other was unless they lifted their mask/helmet, which of course they would not do while actually fighting. From head to foot the knight was covered in metal. So any recognition of a fellow knight depended solely on the outward trappings of his suit and steed: banners, shields, standards, etc. Give the “bad” guy the standard and bearing of the “good” guy, and no one would be any the wiser.

Well … believe it or not, I am not going to write about masking and unmasking today. We’ve seen it a lot lately in the blogging community and it’s been treated far better than I could hope to on this pre-coffee Monday morning. Instead, I thought I’d take a different route and write about something else: the obvious.

There is a lot of talk today about the key elements of happiness and many wonderful things are happening in the blogging world regarding meditation, gratitude journals, positive thinking, mindfulness. But, for all of these, when it comes down to it, making me happy (if anyone can be made to be happy) is quite simple:

• Feed me.
• Let me sleep.
• Leave me alone.

I realize that other people may have variations on this theme, but when all of the above are happening in my life, I am a pretty agreeable person. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, I can even dance in the rain. But when one (or all of these things) is missing, watch out! Enter Queen Grumpy. I can be unpleasant, very unpleasant indeed.

Not to belittle mindfulness or gratitude or positivity. I just think sometimes that happiness is more elemental and very, very simple.

Yet this can also be the reason why happiness is very difficult for many in this world to achieve. Two-thirds of the world is starving, living below the poverty line, and have no idea where their next meal is coming from. How then can they expect (be expected) to know happiness?

This is what I realize when I am grumpy from having not eaten enough on a given day or when I go for a few days without proper sleep. How lucky am I that these are only sources of momentary discomfort?! What if this were the state in which I lived? Could I still then say, “Despite these things, I am happy”? I don’t know that I could.

There is a lot to be said for these basic sources of happiness and what they contribute to our overall moods and outlook on life. If you don’t believe me, think of the last altercation you had with someone and ask yourself, “Had both parties had enough sleep? Eaten recently? Had some down time?” If the answer was “No” to any of those questions, you know that these basic things can have a powerful impact on our thoughts, emotions, and our overall sense of well-being.

We often speak of the “pursuit of happiness” and the right of every individual to it. But how often do we think of this pursuit in terms of giving every individual the basic tools whereby she can achieve it?

Before there is freedom of thought, speech, press, religion there are basic human needs waiting to be met. And for most of the world, these needs are the greatest challenge … far beyond any concern for happiness, gratitude or mindfulness.

I have realized that for me the secret to The Secret is this: The best thing for me is not about envisioning the best thing for me, but envisioning and intending the best thing for you: my brother, my sister, my neighbour. When I want and work to attract good things to you, your riches will pour over on me.

I can begin by helping to meet your basic needs: food, shelter, meaningful work, clothing. The rest will follow.

Om shanti.
Namaste.

p.s. Janice Hunter shared an excellent article on this topic recently from a fellow blogger, Randi @ Foreign Quang. You can find it here: Hunger and Hope.