Living Happiness

“Listen, I don’t know how to break this to you. But … your blog sucks.” These were the words I heard this week when I put forth my blog for some honest criticism. And they were not much different from some earlier ones I’d heard a few days before in my online classroom: “Prof. C is the worst teacher ever! I hate this class!”

“Oh, what’s the use,” I thought to myself and proceeded to sulk through the private entrance into my very own deluxe pity party, replete with an orchestra of the world’s tiniest, whiniest violins whinging in the corner.

“Why do I even bother,” I questioned myself as I poured myself a glass of Defeat and helped myself to a plate of Injured Pride. “Why knock myself out when this is the kind of thanks I get?” And off I wandered, over to another corner of the room from whence I could enjoy my beggar’s meal in silence.

Please notice that in the above scenario, the first words I shared with you were words I said I had “heard.” This is crucial for you to understand because, the fact is, these were not actually the words that were spoken to me.

The words actually spoken to me were words that went along the lines of “I’m sure your blog is nice but I simply can’t read it for the dark background and all the colors everywhere” and “This course was far too challenging for ten weeks. Please lengthen it,” respectively.

You should also know that these words also came sandwiched in the middle of a lot of praise: “I love this post!” “I really enjoy your blog!” “This is the best online class I’ve taken with this university!” “Prof. C is the best thing about this course!”

But what did I do right away? I did what a lot of us do and immediately honed in on the negative, grabbed it like a rabid dog with a bone and, for a good couple of days, have refused to let go … even if there was no meat on it to begin with.

Sadly, while I let myself suffer through a night of CG’s Worst Hits, sucking on bones at Casa Feel Sorry for Myself, I missed out on an altogether different kind of party just next door. A party that was rocking. A party with all kinds of cool folks. A party with much more sustaining food than the crow I was forcing down. And the craziest thing of all about it? That party was thrown in my honor.

Don’t we all do this from time to time? We hear things that are not said.

Perhaps we blow them out of proportion. Or we simply refuse to acknowledge all of the powerful, wonderful, positive things that are practically being shouted at us. … And we suffer for it. A self-imposed suffering, which is the worst kind really, because we have no one to blame for the lashes on our backs but ourselves … and we’ve refused the soothing balm of praise and goodwill so happily being extended to us. Ah, what fools we can be!

I am presenting this story to you today because I am willing to gladly offer myself up as a cautionary tale.

Today when you are faced with doubt or criticism from others, don’t do like I did and immediately skulk off to your own private pity party. Instead, keep these things in perspective. Acknowledge to yourself (and even to others) the things you are doing right, and then go next door to the party that is You. It’ll be a lot of fun! Just the thing to cheer you up!

I hope this post encouraged you today. Please feel free to leave any comments you have on the post.

***You are also welcome to post any comments or suggestions about the blog. I am actively considering some BIG changes in the near future to a white background and a different layout. If there are certain things you like about the blog that you want to see remain, please let me know. I also welcome any suggestions you have for future changes.***

Thank you, dear readers, and Happy Friday!

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Photo credit: Evil Erin

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post (PJS, Obituaries, and Barbaric Yawps) in which I shared with you about a remarkable evening I had with me, myself, and I — an evening so remarkable, in fact, that it lingered with me for days afterward, bringing a perpetual smile to my face and joy to my heart.

But in the weeks since then, life has taken over and eclipsed this wonderful evening, placing all of that joy in shadow and placing a big corona, instead, around “all that’s wrong in my world.”

Yesterday, however, I ran across a lovely post in my reader from a new blog I have begun following, Stacey Curnow’s Midwife for Your Life. A wonderful reminder that even though I haven’t been paying much attention to her, my inner voice is still there. And she still has the same great things to say … if only I’d just let her speak.

So today, I would like to share with you a bit of that conversation I had on that remarkable night a few weeks ago. Here is the love letter I received from my soul to me. I hope it encourages you today (as it already has me) and prompts you to take some time to listen to your own heart, as well.

Dear Chania Girl:

First off I want to say just how fantastic you are. You don’t always realize it, but you’re an amazing woman. You are going to go so far. You have come so far. We have taken stock recently of your successes, all of the many things that have led you to this place. Don’t discount the part that you’ve played in bringing yourself to this place … you’ve had a hand in orchestrating it too. It’s okay to be proud. It’s okay to say such things. But since you so rarely say these kinds of things to yourself, I’m saying it for you: Well done you!

But let’s take a look at the life before you. It’s even grander than you can imagine. You don’t want to believe this. There’s a part of you that thinks you’re being silly, extravagant, maybe even a little selfish. You’re not. This is the life that was meant for everybody, but not everybody knows it. Not because it’s a secret, but because it’s so bold and daring that no one can believe it could be true. But it is!

I can see it in you now as you type. I know you’re scared. You’re scared to write the words; to see your future is blasphemy almost. Too much. Don’t be scared, CG. The Universe won’t give you everything all at once. Everything will come in its own time … when you are ready. But be careful: don’t waste too much time getting ready. There’s a whole spread of a feast waiting for you.

Still scared? Why? Why are you scared, my darling? What is holding you back in the past? Is it your self-worth? You are worth it! Worth everything! Is it the power of what you are about to see? Maybe. It can be a lot to handle. But. Hm. Should we maybe go slow? What would you like to see? Let’s start there. That’s probably the best way to start. Ah, yes, but even as I say this, I can see you are let down. You want the shiny curtain to open. You want to see what’s before you, no matter how frightening it is. Okay then. That’s what we’ll do. And I promise you, you can handle it. Everything’s going to be just fine.

Peace be with you. Namaste.

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Photo Credit: Both photos by Angie Nan